Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
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boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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