I showed him my bush... on skype.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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