My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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