Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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