I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
