Where is the hickey?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
