so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
