"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
