I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
