so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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