One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
