She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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