haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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