ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
no, he came in my armpit
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My feet surprised me
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
