I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
