Define "chronic" masturbator.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
