OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Just high enough for therapy.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
