I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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