Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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