so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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