before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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