just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
