we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
i think my cat just said my name.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
