Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
