Tell her she can't have a vagina
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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