i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
