her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
