Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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