"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
