I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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