yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Randomize
