So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Life is so much better after having sex.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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