so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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