I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
