if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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