I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
