So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
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omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
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The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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