I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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