Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
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I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
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