12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
