Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
