Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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