What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
