My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
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I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
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This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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