Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
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