his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
40s are totally the cure
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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