So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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