Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
