Porn is love you can see.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
