He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I will be naked everywhere
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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