hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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