I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just had sex on a roof
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
