I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
