It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
so let's talk penis.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
