Im at strip club and am horny
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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