Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
