They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
