Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
