this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize