Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
