i wish my penis had a tongue
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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