I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
