I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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